hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
