dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Sober January is a disaster.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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