We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
either way he was missing a nipple.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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