you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
