ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
last night I used snow as a chaser
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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