Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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