Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
