I am in a vortex of obligation.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
