a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
