I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
