First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
