four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
