my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
