Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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