Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
