So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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