We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
