i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
