Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
