LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
