Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
