On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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