R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
