I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
