umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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