Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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