That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
