That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
