Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
