I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
