We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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