Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Let's get the cat blown out
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
