But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
