i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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