Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
