i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
