she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
