Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
