you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
