My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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