Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
