mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
