if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
