youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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