So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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