I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
