When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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