I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
