I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Farmville is her only friend.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
