***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
